ARKCODEX
Act V, Scene 3
1Gloucestershire. Shallow’s orchard.
2Enter Falstaff, Shallow, Silence, Davy, Bardolph, and the Page.
3ShallowNay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour, we will eat a last year’s pippin of my own graffing, with a dish of caraways, and so forth: come, cousin Silence: and then to bed.
4Falstaff’Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and a rich.
5ShallowBarren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all, Sir John: marry, good air. Spread, Davy; spread, Davy: well said, Davy.
6FalstaffThis Davy serves you for good uses; he is your serving-man and your husband.
7ShallowA good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir John: by the mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper: a good varlet. Now sit down, now sit down: come, cousin.
8SilenceAh, sirrah! quoth-a, we shall
Do nothing but eat, and make good cheer, singing
And praise God for the merry year;
When flesh is cheap and females dear,
And lusty lads roam here and there
So merrily,
And ever among so merrily.
9FalstaffThere’s a merry heart! Good Master Silence, I’ll give you a health for that anon.
10ShallowGive Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.
11DavySweet sir, sit; I’ll be with you anon; most sweet sir, sit. Master page, good master page, sit. Proface! What you want in meat, we’ll have in drink: but you must bear; the heart’s all. Exit.
12ShallowBe merry, Master Bardolph; and, my little soldier there, be merry.
13SilenceBe merry, be merry, my wife has all; singing
For women are shrews, both short and tall:
’Tis merry in hall when beards wag all,
And welcome merry Shrove-tide.
Be merry, be merry.
14FalstaffI did not think Master Silence had been a man of this mettle.
15SilenceWho, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.
16Reenter Davy.
17DavyThere’s a dish of leather-coats for you. To Bardolph.
18ShallowDavy!
19DavyYour worship! I’ll be with you straight to Bardolph. A cup of wine, sir?
20SilenceA cup of wine that’s brisk and fine, singing
And drink unto the leman mine;
And a merry heart lives long-a.
21FalstaffWell said, Master Silence.
22SilenceAn we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o’ the night.
23FalstaffHealth and long life to you, Master Silence.
24SilenceFill the cup, and let it come; singing
I’ll pledge you a mile to the bottom.
25ShallowHonest Bardolph, welcome: if thou wantest any thing, and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. Welcome, my little tiny thief to the Page, and welcome indeed too. I’ll drink to Master Bardolph, and to all the cavaleros about London.
26DavyI hove to see London once ere I die.
27BardolphAn I might see you there, Davy—
28ShallowBy the mass, you’ll crack a quart together, ha! will you not, Master Bardolph?
29BardolphYea, sir, in a pottle-pot.
30ShallowBy God’s liggens, I thank thee: the knave will stick by thee, I can assure thee that. A’ will not out; he is true bred.
31BardolphAnd I’ll stick by him, sir.
32ShallowWhy, there spoke a king. Lack nothing: be merry. Knocking within. Look who’s at door there, ho! who knocks? Exit Davy.
33FalstaffWhy, now you have done me right. To Silence, seeing him take off a bumper.
34SilenceDo me right, singing
And dub me knight:
Samingo.
Is’t not so?
35Falstaff’Tis so.
36SilenceIs’t so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.
37Reenter Davy.
38DavyAn’t please your worship, there’s one Pistol come from the court with news.
39FalstaffFrom the court! let him come in.
40Enter Pistol.
41How now, Pistol!
42PistolSir John, God save you!
43FalstaffWhat wind blew you hither, Pistol?
44PistolNot the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
45SilenceBy’r lady, I think a’ be, but goodman Puff of Barson.
46PistolPuff!
Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee,
And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
47FalstaffI pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this world.
48PistolA foutre for the world and worldlings base!
I speak of Africa and golden joys.
49FalstaffO base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
50SilenceAnd Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John. Singing.
51PistolShall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
And shall good news be baffled?
Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies’ lap.
52SilenceHonest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
53PistolWhy then, lament therefore.
54ShallowGive me pardon, sir: if, sir, you come with news from the court, I take it there’s but two ways, either to utter them, or to conceal them. I am, sir, under the king, in some authority.
55PistolUnder which king, Besonian? speak, or die.
56ShallowUnder King Harry.
57PistolHarry the Fourth? or Fifth?
58ShallowHarry the Fourth.
59PistolA foutre for thine office!
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king;
Harry the Fifth’s the man. I speak the truth:
When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.
60FalstaffWhat, is the old king dead?
61PistolAs nail in door: the things I speak are just.
62FalstaffAway, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land, ’tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.
63BardolphO joyful day!
I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
64PistolWhat! I do bring good news.
65FalstaffCarry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord Shallow—be what thou wilt; I am fortune’s steward—get on thy boots: we’ll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph! Exit Bardolph. Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow: I know the young king is sick for me. Let us take any man’s horses; the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed are they that have been my friends; and woe to my lord chief-justice!
66PistolLet vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
“Where is the life that late I led?” say they:
Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days! Exeunt.