ARKCODEX
Act I, Scene 5
1Court before the same.
2Enter King Lear, Kent, and Fool.
3King LearGo you before to Gloucester with these letters.
Acquaint my daughter no further with any thing you
know than comes from her demand out of the letter.
If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you.
4KentI will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered your letter. Exit.
5FoolIf a man’s brains were in’s heels, were’t not in danger of kibes?
6King LearAy, boy.
7FoolThen, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall ne’er go slip-shod.
8King LearHa, ha, ha!
9FoolShalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly; for though she’s as like this as a crab’s like an apple, yet I can tell what I can tell.
10King LearWhy, what canst thou tell, my boy?
11FoolShe will taste as like this as a crab does to a crab. Thou canst tell why one’s nose stands i’ the middle on’s face?
12King LearNo.
13FoolWhy, to keep one’s eyes of either side’s nose; that what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into.
14King LearI did her wrong—
15FoolCanst tell how an oyster makes his shell?
16King LearNo.
17FoolNor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.
18King LearWhy?
19FoolWhy, to put his head in; not to give it away to his daughters, and leave his horns without a case.
20King LearI will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be my horses ready?
21FoolThy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.
22King LearBecause they are not eight?
23FoolYes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool.
24King LearTo take ’t again perforce! Monster ingratitude!
25FoolIf thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’ld have thee beaten for being old before thy time.
26King LearHow’s that?
27FoolThou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise.
28King LearO, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven!
Keep me in temper: I would not be mad!
29Enter Gentleman.
30How now! are the horses ready?
31GentlemanReady, my lord.
32King LearCome, boy.
33FoolShe that’s a maid now, and laughs at my departure,
Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter. Exeunt.