ARKCODEX
Act I, Scene 2
1A street.
2Enter Lucio and two Gentlemen.
3LucioIf the duke with the other dukes come not to composition with the King of Hungary, why then all the dukes fall upon the king.
4First GentlemanHeaven grant us its peace, but not the King of Hungary’s!
5Second GentlemanAmen.
6LucioThou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate, that went to sea with the Ten Commandments, but scraped one out of the table.
7Second Gentleman“Thou shalt not steal”?
8LucioAy, that he razed.
9First GentlemanWhy, ’twas a commandment to command the captain and all the rest from their functions: they put forth to steal. There’s not a soldier of us all, that, in the thanksgiving before meat, do relish the petition well that prays for peace.
10Second GentlemanI never heard any soldier dislike it.
11LucioI believe thee; for I think thou never wast where grace was said.
12Second GentlemanNo? a dozen times at least.
13First GentlemanWhat, in metre?
14LucioIn any proportion or in any language.
15First GentlemanI think, or in any religion.
16LucioAy, why not? Grace is grace, despite of all controversy: as, for example, thou thyself art a wicked villain, despite of all grace.
17First GentlemanWell, there went but a pair of shears between us.
18LucioI grant; as there may between the lists and the velvet. Thou art the list.
19First GentlemanAnd thou the velvet: thou art good velvet; thou’rt a three-piled piece, I warrant thee: I had as lief be a list of an English kersey as be piled, as thou art piled, for a French velvet. Do I speak feelingly now?
20LucioI think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful feeling of thy speech: I will, out of thine own confession, learn to begin thy health; but, whilst I live, forget to drink after thee.
21First GentlemanI think I have done myself wrong, have I not?
22Second GentlemanYes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted or free.
23LucioBehold, behold, where Madam Mitigation comes! I have purchased as many diseases under her roof as come to—
24Second GentlemanTo what, I pray?
25LucioJudge.
26Second GentlemanTo three thousand dolours a year.
27First GentlemanAy, and more.
28LucioA French crown more.
29First GentlemanThou art always figuring diseases in me; but thou art full of error; I am sound.
30LucioNay, not as one would say, healthy; but so sound as things that are hollow: thy bones are hollow; impiety has made a feast of thee.
31Enter Mistress Overdone.
32First GentlemanHow now! which of your hips has the most profound sciatica?
33Mistress OverdoneWell, well; there’s one yonder arrested and carried to prison was worth five thousand of you all.
34Second GentlemanWho’s that, I pray thee?
35Mistress OverdoneMarry, sir, that’s Claudio, Signior Claudio.
36First GentlemanClaudio to prison? ’tis not so.
37Mistress OverdoneNay, but I know ’tis so: I saw him arrested, saw him carried away; and, which is more, within these three days his head to be chopped off.
38LucioBut, after all this fooling, I would not have it so. Art thou sure of this?
39Mistress OverdoneI am too sure of it: and it is for getting Madam Julietta with child.
40LucioBelieve me, this may be: he promised to meet me two hours since, and he was ever precise in promise-keeping.
41Second GentlemanBesides, you know, it draws something near to the speech we had to such a purpose.
42First GentlemanBut, most of all, agreeing with the proclamation.
43LucioAway! let’s go learn the truth of it. Exeunt Lucio and Gentlemen.
44Mistress OverdoneThus, what with the war, what with the sweat, what with the gallows and what with poverty, I am custom-shrunk.
45Enter Pompey.
46How now! what’s the news with you?
47PompeyYonder man is carried to prison.
48Mistress OverdoneWell; what has he done?
49PompeyA woman.
50Mistress OverdoneBut what’s his offence?
51PompeyGroping for trouts in a peculiar river.
52Mistress OverdoneWhat, is there a maid with child by him?
53PompeyNo, but there’s a woman with maid by him. You have not heard of the proclamation, have you?
54Mistress OverdoneWhat proclamation, man?
55PompeyAll houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be plucked down.
56Mistress OverdoneAnd what shall become of those in the city?
57PompeyThey shall stand for seed: they had gone down too, but that a wise burgher put in for them.
58Mistress OverdoneBut shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be pulled down?
59PompeyTo the ground, mistress.
60Mistress OverdoneWhy, here’s a change indeed in the commonwealth! What shall become of me?
61PompeyCome; fear not you: good counsellors lack no clients: though you change your place, you need not change your trade; I’ll be your tapster still. Courage! there will be pity taken on you: you that have worn your eyes almost out in the service, you will be considered.
62Mistress OverdoneWhat’s to do here, Thomas tapster? let’s withdraw.
63PompeyHere comes Signior Claudio, led by the provost to prison; and there’s Madam Juliet. Exeunt.
64Enter Provost, Claudio, Juliet, and Officers.
65ClaudioFellow, why dost thou show me thus to the world?
Bear me to prison, where I am committed.
66ProvostI do it not in evil disposition,
But from Lord Angelo by special charge.
67ClaudioThus can the demigod Authority
Make us pay down for our offence by weight
The words of heaven; on whom it will, it will;
On whom it will not, so; yet still ’tis just.
68Reenter Lucio and two Gentlemen.
69LucioWhy, how now, Claudio! whence comes this restraint?
70ClaudioFrom too much liberty, my Lucio, liberty:
As surfeit is the father of much fast,
So every scope by the immoderate use
Turns to restraint. Our natures do pursue,
Like rats that ravin down their proper bane,
A thirsty evil; and when we drink we die.
71LucioIf could speak so wisely under an arrest, I would send for certain of my creditors: and yet, to say the truth, I had as lief have the foppery of freedom as the morality of imprisonment. What’s thy offence, Claudio?
72ClaudioWhat but to speak of would offend again.
73LucioWhat, is’t murder?
74ClaudioNo.
75LucioLechery?
76ClaudioCall it so.
77ProvostAway, sir! you must go.
78ClaudioOne word, good friend. Lucio, a word with you.
79LucioA hundred, if they’ll do you any good. Is lechery so look’d after?
80ClaudioThus stands it with me: upon a true contract
I got possession of Julietta’s bed:
You know the lady; she is fast my wife,
Save that we do the denunciation lack
Of outward order: this we came not to,
Only for propagation of a dower
Remaining in the coffer of her friends,
From whom we thought it meet to hide our love
Till time had made them for us. But it chances
The stealth of our most mutual entertainment
With character too gross is writ on Juliet.
81LucioWith child, perhaps?
82ClaudioUnhappily, even so.
And the new deputy now for the duke—
Whether it be the fault and glimpse of newness,
Or whether that the body public be
A horse whereon the governor doth ride,
Who, newly in the seat, that it may know
He can command, lets it straight feel the spur;
Whether the tyranny be in his place,
Or in his emmence that fills it up,
I stagger in:—but this new governor
Awakes me all the enrolled penalties
Which have, like unscour’d armour, hung by the wall
So long that nineteen zodiacs have gone round
And none of them been worn; and, for a name,
Now puts the drowsy and neglected act
Freshly on me: ’tis surely for a name.
83LucioI warrant it is: and thy head stands so tickle on thy shoulders that a milkmaid, if she be in love, may sigh it off. Send after the duke and appeal to him.
84ClaudioI have done so, but he’s not to be found.
I prithee, Lucio, do me this kind service:
This day my sister should the cloister enter
And there receive her approbation:
Acquaint her with the danger of my state:
Implore her, in my voice, that she make friends
To the strict deputy; bid herself assay him:
I have great hope in that; for in her youth
There is a prone and speechless dialect,
Such as move men; beside, she hath prosperous art
When she will play with reason and discourse,
And well she can persuade.
85LucioI pray she may; as well for the encouragement of the like, which else would stand under grievous imposition, as for the enjoying of thy life, who I would be sorry should be thus foolishly lost at a game of tick-tack. I’ll to her.
86ClaudioI thank you, good friend Lucio.
87LucioWithin two hours.
88ClaudioCome, officer, away! Exeunt.