ARKCODEX
Meditations
1Will you ever be good, my soul? Simple and whole and bare. More visible than the body that surrounds you. Will you ever taste the disposition of love and deep affection? Will you ever be complete and without need? Craving nothing. Desiring nothing living or lifeless for the enjoyment of pleasure. Not more time to enjoy it longer. Not a certain place or climate or pleasant air. Not harmony with other people. Will you instead be satisfied with your present condition? Will you find joy in all that is present now? Will you convince yourself that everything comes to you from the gods? That all is well with you and will be well. Whatever pleases them. Whatever they are about to give for the preservation of that perfect being. The being that is good and just and beautiful. That generates all things and holds them together. That contains and embraces all things dissolving into the birth of others like them. Will you ever be such a soul? One that lives as a citizen with gods and humans alike. Neither finding fault with them nor condemned by them.
2Observe what your nature requires of you as a being governed by nature alone. Then do it and accept it, unless it will harm your nature as a living creature. Next, observe what your nature as a living creature requires. Embrace all of this, unless it will harm your nature as a rational being. And the rational is at once the social. Use these as your standards. Waste no effort on anything else.
3Everything that happens either happens in a way you can naturally bear or in a way you cannot. If what happens is within your natural capacity to bear, do not complain. Bear it as nature made you able. If it seems beyond your capacity, still do not complain. It will consume itself after it has consumed you. But remember this. You are naturally able to bear anything your mind has the power to make bearable. You do this by judging it profitable or right to endure.
4If someone makes a mistake, teach them gently. Show them what they overlooked. But if you cannot reach them, blame yourself. Or blame no one at all.
5Whatever happens to you was prepared for you from the beginning of time. The weaving of causes has spun together your existence and this event since eternity.
6Whether reality is random atoms or an ordered nature, let me first establish this: I am a part of a whole governed by nature. Second, I am naturally connected to all the other parts that share my kind. If I remember these truths, then as a part, I will never resent whatever the whole assigns to me. Nothing that benefits the whole can harm the part. The whole contains nothing that fails to serve itself. This is true of all natures. But the nature of the universe goes further. No outside force can compel it to generate anything harmful to itself. So by remembering that I am part of such a whole, I will welcome whatever happens. And because I am connected to others of my kind, I will do nothing selfish. Instead, I will aim at what helps my fellow beings. I will direct every impulse toward the common good. I will turn away from whatever opposes it. When I live this way, my life must flow smoothly. Think of a citizen whose life runs well. He moves through his days doing what benefits his fellow citizens. And whatever the city assigns him, he embraces.
7The parts of the whole, all that nature holds within the cosmos, must perish. Let this word mean "transform." But if transformation were both evil and necessary for them, the whole could not proceed well. Its parts would be moving toward change. They would be built for destruction in countless ways. Did nature deliberately harm her own parts? Did she make them prone to evil and doomed to fall into it? Or did such things escape her notice? Both answers are absurd. Suppose someone sets aside the idea of nature and explains these things as simply how they are. Even so, it is ridiculous to say that the parts of the whole are made to change, yet react with shock or disgust as if something unnatural has happened. Especially when dissolution returns each thing to what formed it. Either the elements scatter back to what they were. Or the solid turns to earth and the breath turns to air. These are taken back into the reason of the whole. Whether the cosmos burns in cycles. Or renews itself through eternal exchange. Do not imagine that your solid flesh and breath date from your first birth. All of this arrived yesterday and the day before. It flowed in from food and the air you drew. What changes is what you received. Not what your mother bore. Grant that she bound you tightly to your individual nature. Even so, this has nothing to do with what I am saying.
8Give yourself these names: good, humble, truthful, thoughtful, agreeable, rising above. Guard against ever losing them. And if you do lose them, return to them quickly. Remember what these names mean. Thoughtful means careful attention to each matter without distraction. Agreeable means willing acceptance of what universal nature assigns. Rising above means the thinking part of you lifts higher than the body's pleasures and pains. Higher than petty reputation. Higher than death. Higher than all such things. If you hold yourself to these names without craving that others call you by them, you will become someone new. You will enter a new life. To remain what you have been until now, torn apart and stained by such a life, is the mark of a senseless man clinging to existence. Like half-eaten beast fighters covered in wounds and gore who still beg to be kept alive for tomorrow. Only to be thrown again to the same claws and fangs. Plant yourself firmly in these few names. If you can remain in them, stay there as if you had sailed to the islands of the blessed. But if you feel yourself slipping and losing your grip, retreat with confidence to some quiet corner where you can regain control. Or depart from life entirely. Not in anger. Simply. Freely. With dignity. Having done at least this one thing in life: to leave it well. To remember these names, it will greatly help you to remember the gods. They do not want flattery. They want all rational beings to become like them. The fig tree does what a fig tree does. The dog does what a dog does. The bee does what a bee does. And a human being does what a human being does.
9Theater. War. Panic. Numbness. Slavery. Day by day those sacred principles of yours will be erased. You imagine them without understanding their nature. You let them pass by unexamined. But you must see and act in such a way that practical work is accomplished. At the same time, contemplation must remain active. And the quiet confidence that comes from true knowledge of each thing must be preserved. Not hidden. Simply unannounced. When will you enjoy simplicity? When will you enjoy dignity? When will you know each thing for what it truly is? What is its essential nature? What place does it hold in the universe? How long is it meant to last? What is it made of? Who can possess it? Who has the power to give it or take it away?
10A spider swells with pride after catching a fly. One man boasts of catching a hare. Another of netting a small fish. Another of trapping wild boar. Another of hunting bears. Another of conquering Sarmatians. Are these not all bandits, if you examine their principles?
11Learn to observe how all things change into one another. Give constant attention to this. Train yourself in it. Nothing else produces such greatness of mind. He has stripped off the body. He has recognized that very soon he must leave all this behind and depart from the world. He has given himself over completely. In his own actions, to justice. In everything else that happens, to the nature of the universe. What anyone might say about him, or think of him, or do against him—he does not even consider it. Two things alone satisfy him. That he acts justly in whatever he does now. That he loves whatever is now assigned to him. He has let go of all distractions and pursuits. He wants nothing else but to walk a straight path through the law. And to follow God, who walks that straight path.
12Why rely on guesswork when you can examine what needs to be done? If you see the way clearly, move forward with good will and without looking back. If you do not see clearly, hold back and seek the best advisors. If other circumstances stand in your way, advance thoughtfully with the resources at hand. Hold fast to what appears just. Success in this is the highest aim. Failure means falling away from it. The one who follows reason in all things is both unhurried and nimble. Both cheerful and composed.
13Ask yourself this question the moment you wake: Will it matter to you if someone else criticizes what is just and good? It will not matter. Have you forgotten what these people are like? They puff themselves up with praise and blame for others. Yet see how they behave in bed. See how they behave at the table. See what they do. See what they avoid. See what they pursue. See what they steal. See what they seize. Not with hands and feet. But with the most precious part of themselves. That part which could become, if they chose, faithfulness, reverence, truth, law, a good spirit.
14To Nature, who gives all things and takes them back, the educated and reverent person says: Give what you will. Take back what you will. He says this not with defiance but with obedience alone and goodwill toward her.
15The time remaining is short. Live as if on a mountain. It makes no difference whether there or here, if everywhere you live as a citizen of the world. Let people see. Let them observe a true human being living according to nature. If they cannot bear it, let them kill him. That is better than living as they do.
16Stop talking about what a good person should be. Just be one.
17Keep before your mind the whole of time and the whole of existence. See them as one continuous vision. Every individual thing, measured against existence, is a millet seed. Measured against time, it is a single turn of a drill.
18Look at each thing before you and picture it already dissolving. See it in the midst of change. See it rotting or scattering. Everything dies in its own way.
19Think of what they are like when eating. Sleeping. Mating. Relieving themselves. Then see them playing the tyrant. Swelling with pride. Raging in anger. Rebuking others from on high. Yet just moments ago they were slaves to how many masters. And for what base reasons. And soon enough they will be slaves again.
20What benefits each person is what the nature of the universe brings to each person. And it benefits precisely when nature brings it.
21"Earth longs for rain. The holy sky longs for earth." And the universe longs to bring about what must be. So I say to the universe: I share your longing. Is this not also what we mean when we say: "This tends to happen"?
22Either you live here and have grown accustomed to it. Or you go away and this was your wish. Or you die and your service is complete. There is nothing else. So be of good cheer.
23Let this always be clear to you: the countryside is just like that. Everything here is the same as on a mountaintop. Or by the seashore. Or wherever you wish. You will find Plato's words come true: "Fencing in a sheepfold on the mountain," he says, "and milking bleating flocks."
24What is my ruling mind? What am I making of it now? What am I using it for? Is it empty of reason? Is it cut off and torn away from community? Has it melted into this flesh and blended with it, turning wherever the body turns?
25A slave who flees his master is a runaway. The law is our master. Therefore one who breaks the law is a runaway. But consider also the person who feels grief or anger or fear. Such a person refuses to accept something that has happened, is happening, or will happen. Yet these things were ordained by the one who governs all. This governor is the law. It assigns to each person what is due. Therefore one who feels fear or grief or anger is a runaway.
26A man deposits seed in a womb and departs. From then on another cause takes over. It works on the seed and produces a child. From such a thing, such a result. Again. Food passes down the throat. From then on another cause takes over. It produces sensation. Impulse. Life itself. Strength. And so much else. How many things. What kinds. Observe these processes happening in such hiddenness. See the power at work. Just as we see the force that pulls things down and the force that lifts things up. Not with the eyes. Yet no less clearly.
27Keep reminding yourself how everything happening now has happened before. And it will happen again. Picture whole dramas and scenes just like these. You know them from your own experience or from ancient history. The entire court of Hadrian. The entire court of Antoninus. The entire court of Philip, Alexander, Croesus. All of it was the same. Only the actors were different.
28Always picture anyone who grieves or complains about anything as like a pig being sacrificed. Kicking and squealing. The same is true of the one who lies alone on his bed, mourning in silence. Consider our bondage. Only rational beings can follow events willingly. But follow them we must.
29Pause over each thing you do. Ask yourself: would death be dreadful because it takes this from me?
30When you stumble over someone's wrongdoing, turn at once to yourself. Ask what similar wrong you commit. Perhaps you judge money to be good. Or pleasure. Or a little fame. Consider each in turn. This reflection will quickly dissolve your anger. You will see that he acts under compulsion. What else can he do? Or, if you are able, remove the compulsion from him.
31When you see Satyron, picture Socraticus, or Eutychius, or Hymenaeus. When you see Euphrates, picture Eutychion or Silvanus. When you see Alciphron, picture Tropaeophorus. When you see Severus, picture Crito or Xenophon. When you look at yourself, picture one of the Caesars. And for each person, find the parallel. Then let this thought strike you: Where are they now? Nowhere. Or somewhere, it makes no difference. In this way you will constantly see human affairs as smoke and nothing. Especially if you remember that what has once changed will never exist again in all of infinite time. Why then do you strain so hard? Why is it not enough for you to pass through this brief time with grace? What rich material you are fleeing from! For what is all this but training for a mind that has observed life with precision and according to nature? Stay, then, until you have made even these hardships your own. As a strong stomach assimilates everything. As a blazing fire transforms whatever you throw into it into flame and light.
32Let no one speak truthfully when they call you insincere or bad. Let anyone who thinks such things of you be a liar. This is entirely within your power. For who can stop you from being good and sincere? Simply resolve that life is not worth living unless you become such a person. For reason itself does not choose a life without these qualities.
33What is the healthiest thing that can be done or said in this situation? Whatever it is, you have the power to do it or say it. Do not make excuses as if something is stopping you. You will never stop groaning until you feel this truth: What luxury is to pleasure-seekers, that is what it should be for you to act according to human nature upon whatever material life presents. You must regard as delight everything you can do in accordance with your own nature. And you can do this everywhere. A cylinder cannot always roll according to its own motion. Neither can water. Neither can fire. Neither can anything else governed by nature or by unreasoning soul. Many things block and obstruct them. But mind and reason can pass through every obstacle just as they are made to do and just as they wish. Keep before your eyes this ease with which reason will move through all things. Like fire upward. Like a stone downward. Like a cylinder rolling down a slope. Seek nothing more. All remaining obstacles belong either to the corpse we call the body, or they cannot break you or cause any harm at all without the consent of your own judgment and the surrender of reason itself. Otherwise, the one who suffers harm would immediately become bad. In all other things that exist, whatever misfortune befalls them makes them worse. But here, if I may say so, a person becomes better and more praiseworthy by rightly using what befalls them. Remember this above all: Nothing harms the citizen that does not harm the city. Nothing harms the city that does not harm the law. None of these so-called misfortunes harms the law. Therefore what does not harm the law harms neither city nor citizen.
34For someone dyed through with true principles, even the briefest and most common reminder is enough to dissolve grief and fear. Like this: "Leaves—the wind scatters some to the ground. So it is with the generations of men." Your children are little leaves. Little leaves too are those who cry out their praise so convincingly. Or who curse from the other side. Or who quietly blame and mock. Little leaves as well are those who will inherit your reputation after you die. All these things come in the season of spring. Then the wind throws them down. Then the forest grows others in their place. Brief life is common to all things. Yet you flee and chase as if everything will last forever. Soon you too will close your eyes. And the one who carries out your body will soon be mourned by another.
35A healthy eye must be ready to see everything visible. It must not say, "I want only green things." That is the sign of a diseased eye. A healthy ear and nose must be ready for everything that can be heard or smelled. A healthy stomach must receive all food the way a mill receives everything it was built to grind. So too a healthy mind must be ready for everything that happens. But the mind that says, "Let my children be spared," or "Let everyone praise whatever I do"—that mind is an eye demanding only green things. Or teeth demanding only soft food.
36No one is so fortunate that some will not stand by his deathbed welcoming his end. He was serious and wise. Yet still someone will mutter to himself: "At last we can breathe freely without this schoolmaster. He was never harsh with any of us. But I could feel him silently judging us." This is what they say of the serious man. How many more reasons do people have to want to be rid of us? Keep this in mind as you die. It will ease your departure. Think: "I am leaving a life in which even my companions—for whom I struggled so hard, prayed so much, worried so long—even they want me gone. Perhaps they hope my death will bring them some relief." Why then would anyone cling to a longer stay here? Yet do not leave them with any less kindness on this account. Preserve your own character to the end. Be loving. Be well-wishing. Be gentle. And do not depart as though being torn away. When someone dies peacefully, the little soul slips easily from the body. Let your separation from these people be the same. Nature joined you to them and blended your lives together. Now nature dissolves the bond. I am dissolved from my own. Not dragged away. Not forced. This too is natural.
37Train yourself to ask, whenever you see someone acting: what is their purpose in this? But begin with yourself. Examine yourself first.
38Remember that what pulls the strings is hidden within. That is the power of speech. That is life itself. That is what we truly mean by a person. Never confuse yourself with the vessel that surrounds you or these organs molded around it. They are like a carpenter's axe. The only difference is that they are attached to you. These body parts are no more useful without the force that moves and controls them than a shuttle is to a weaver without her hand. Or a pen to a writer. Or a whip to a charioteer.