ARKCODEX
Act I, Scene 2
1The same. Garden of Julia’s house.
2Enter Julia and Lucetta.
3JuliaBut say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
4LucettaAy, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.
5JuliaOf all the fair resort of gentlemen
That every day with parle encounter me,
In thy opinion which is worthiest love?
6LucettaPlease you repeat their names, I’ll show my mind
According to my shallow simple skill.
7JuliaWhat think’st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?
8LucettaAs of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;
But, were I you, he never should be mine.
9JuliaWhat think’st thou of the rich Mercatio?
10LucettaWell of his wealth; but of himself, so so.
11JuliaWhat think’st thou of the gentle Proteus?
12LucettaLord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us!
13JuliaHow now! what means this passion at his name?
14LucettaPardon, dear madam: ’tis a passing shame
That I, unworthy body as I am,
Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.
15JuliaWhy not on Proteus, as of all the rest?
16LucettaThen thus: of many good I think him best.
17JuliaYour reason?
18LucettaI have no other, but a woman’s reason;
I think him so because I think him so.
19JuliaAnd wouldst thou have me cast my love on him?
20LucettaAy, if you thought your love not cast away.
21JuliaWhy he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.
22LucettaYet he, of all the rest, I think, best loves ye.
23JuliaHis little speaking shows his love but small.
24LucettaFire that’s closest kept burns most of all.
25JuliaThey do not love that do not show their love.
26LucettaO, they love least that let men know their love.
27JuliaI would I knew his mind.
28LucettaPeruse this paper, madam.
29Julia“To Julia.” Say, from whom?
30LucettaThat the contents will show.
31JuliaSay, say, who gave it thee?
32LucettaSir Valentine’s page; and sent, I think, from Proteus.
He would have given it you; but I, being in the way,
Did in your name receive it: pardon the fault I pray.
33JuliaNow, by my modesty, a goodly broker!
Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines?
To whisper and conspire against my youth?
Now, trust me, ’tis an office of great worth
And you an officer fit for the place.
Or else return no more into my sight.
34LucettaTo plead for love deserves more fee than hate.
35JuliaWill ye be gone?
36LucettaThat you may ruminate. Exit.
37JuliaAnd yet I would I had o’erlooked the letter:
It were a shame to call her back again
And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.
What a fool is she, that knows I am a maid,
And would not force the letter to my view!
Since maids, in modesty, say “no” to that
Which they would have the profferer construe “ay.”
Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse
And presently all humbled kiss the rod!
How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
When willingly I would have had her here!
How angerly I taught my brow to frown,
When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!
My penance is to call Lucetta back
And ask remission for my folly past.
What ho! Lucetta!
38Reenter Lucetta.
39LucettaWhat would your ladyship?
40JuliaIs’t near dinner-time?
41LucettaI would it were,
That you might kill your stomach on your meat
And not upon your maid.
42JuliaWhat is’t that you took up so gingerly?
43LucettaNothing.
44JuliaWhy didst thou stoop, then?
45LucettaTo take a paper up that I let fall.
46JuliaAnd is that paper nothing?
47LucettaNothing concerning me.
48JuliaThen let it lie for those that it concerns.
49LucettaMadam, it will not lie where it concerns,
Unless it have a false interpeter.
50JuliaSome love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
51LucettaThat I might sing it, madam, to a tune.
Give me a note: your ladyship can set.
52JuliaAs little by such toys as may be possible.
Best sing it to the tune of “Light o’ love.”
53LucettaIt is too heavy for so light a tune.
54JuliaHeavy! belike it hath some burden then?
55LucettaAy, and melodious were it, would you sing it.
56JuliaAnd why not you?
57LucettaI cannot reach so high.
58JuliaLet’s see your song. How now, minion!
59LucettaKeep tune there still, so you will sing it out:
And yet methinks I do not like this tune.
60JuliaYou do not?
61LucettaNo, madam; it is too sharp.
62JuliaYou, minion, are too saucy.
63LucettaNay, now you are too flat
And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:
There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.
64JuliaThe mean is drown’d with your unruly bass.
65LucettaIndeed, I bid the base for Proteus.
66JuliaThis babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
Here is a coil with protestation! Tears the letter.
Go get you gone, and let the papers lie:
You would be fingering them, to anger me.
67LucettaShe makes it strange; but she would be best pleased
To be so anger’d with another letter. Exit.
68JuliaNay, would I were so anger’d with the same!
O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey
And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
I’ll kiss each several paper for amends.
Look, here is writ “kind Julia.” Unkind Julia!
As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
And here is writ “love-wounded Proteus.”
Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed
Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal’d;
And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
But twice or thrice was “Proteus’ written down.
Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
Till I have found each letter in the letter,
Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear
Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock
And throw it thence into the raging sea!
Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,
“Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia:” that I’ll tear away.
And yet I will not, sith so prettily
He couples it to his complaining names.
Thus will I fold them one upon another:
Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.
69Reenter Lucetta.
70LucettaMadam,
Dinner is ready, and your father stays.
71JuliaWell, let us go.
72LucettaWhat, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?
73JuliaIf you respect them, best to take them up.
74LucettaNay, I was taken up for laying them down:
Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.
75JuliaI see you have a month’s mind to them.
76LucettaAy, madam, you may say what sights you see;
I see things too, although you judge I wink.
77JuliaCome, come; will’t please you go? Exeunt.