ARKCODEX
Act V, Scene 2
1Athens. A room in the prison.
2Enter Doctor, Gaoler, and Wooer in the habit of Palamon.
3DoctorHas this advice I told you done any good upon her?
4WooerO, very much; the maids that kept her company
Have half persuaded her that I am Palamon;
Within this half-hour she came smiling to me,
And ask’d me what I’d eat, and when I’d kiss her:
I told her presently, and kiss’d her twice.
5Doctor’Twas well done: twenty times had been far better;
For there the cure lies mainly.
6WooerThen she told me
She’d watch with me to-night, for well she knew
What hour my fit would take me.
7DoctorLet her do so;
And when your fit comes, fit her home, and presently.
8WooerShe would have me sing.
9DoctorYou did so?
10WooerNo.
11Doctor’Twas very ill done, then;
You should observe her every way.
12WooerAlas,
I have no voice, sir, to confirm her that way!
13DoctorThat’s all one, if ye make a noise:
If she entreat again, do anything;
Lie with her, if she ask you.
14GaolerHoa, there, doctor!
15DoctorYes, in the way of cure.
16GaolerBut first, by your leave,
I’ the way of honesty.
17DoctorThat’s but a niceness;
Ne’er cast your child away for honesty:
Cure her first this way; then, if she’ll be honest,
She has the path before her.
18GaolerThanke ye, doctor.
19DoctorPray, bring her in,
And let’s see how she is.
20GaolerI will, and tell her
Her Palamon stays for her: but, doctor,
Methinks you are i’ the wrong still. Exit.
21DoctorGo, go;
You fathers are fine fools: her honesty!
And we should give her physic till we find that—
22WooerWhy, do you think she is not honest, sir?
23DoctorHow old is she?
24WooerShe’s eighteen.
25DoctorShe may be;
But that’s all one, ’tis nothing to our purpose:
Whate’er her father says, if you perceive
Her mood inclining that way that I spoke of,
Videlicet, the way of flesh—you have me?
26WooerYes, very well, sir.
27DoctorPlease her appetite,
And do it home; it cures her, ipso facto,
The melancholy humour that infects her.
28WooerI am of your mind, doctor.
29DoctorYou’ll find it so. She comes: pray, humour her.
30Reenter Gaoler, with Daughter and Maid.
31GaolerCome; your love Palamon stays for you, child,
And has done this long hour, to visit you.
32DaughterI thank him for his gentle patience;
He’s a kind gentleman, and I’m much bound to him.
Did you ne’er see the horse he gave me?
33GaolerYes.
34DaughterHow do you like him?
35GaolerHe’s a very fair one.
36DaughterYou never saw him dance?
37GaolerNo.
38DaughterI have often:
He dances very finely, very comely;
And, for a jig, come cut and long tail to him;
He turns ye like a top.
39GaolerThat’s fine indeed.
40DaughterHe’ll dance the morris twenty mile an hour,
And that will founder the best hobby-horse,
If I have any skill, in all the parish;
And gallops to the tune of “Light o’ Love:”
What think you of this horse?
41GaolerHaving these virtues,
I think he might be brought to play at tennis.
42DaughterAlas, that’s nothing.
43GaolerCan he write and read too?
44DaughterA very fair hand; and casts himself th’ accounts
Of all his hay and provender; that hostler
Must rise betime that cozens him. You know
The chestnut mare the duke has?
45GaolerVery well.
46DaughterShe’s horribly in love with him, poor beast;
But he is like his master, coy and scornful.
47GaolerWhat dowry has she?
48DaughterSome two hundred bottles,
And twenty strike of oats; but he’ll ne’er have her:
He lisps in’s neighing, able to entice
A miller’s mare; he’ll be the death of her.
49DoctorWhat stuff she utters!
50GaolerMake curtsy; here your love comes.
51WooerPretty soul,
How do ye? That’s a fine maid; there’s a curtsy!
52DaughterYours to command, i’ the way of honesty.
How far is’t now to th’ end o’ the world, my masters?
53DoctorWhy, a day’s journey, wench.
54DaughterWill you go with me?
55WooerWhat shall we do there, wench?
56DaughterWhy, play at stool-ball:
What is there else to do?
57WooerI am content,
If we shall keep our wedding there.
58Daughter’Tis true;
For there, I will assure you, we shall find
Some blind priest for the purpose, that will venture
To marry us, for here they’re nice and foolish;
Besides, my father must be hang’d to-morrow,
And that would be a blot i’ the business.
Are not you Palamon?
59WooerDo not you know me?
60DaughterYes; but you care not for me: I have nothing
But this poor petticoat and two coarse smocks.
61WooerThat’s all one; I will have you.
62DaughterWill you surely?
63WooerYes, by this fair hand, will I.
64DaughterWe’ll to bed, then.
65WooerEven when you will. Kisses her.
66DaughterO, sir, you’d fain be nibbling.
67WooerWhy do you rub my kiss off?
68Daughter’Tis a sweet one,
And will perfume me finely ’gainst the wedding.
Is not this your cousin Arcite?
69DoctorYes, sweetheart;
And I am glad my cousin Palamon
Has made so fair a choice.
70DaughterDo you think he’ll have me?
71DoctorYes, without doubt.
72DaughterDo you think so too?
73GaolerYes.
74DaughterWe shall have many children.—Lord, how y’are grown!
My Palamon I hope will grow, too, finely,
Now he’s at liberty: alas, poor chicken,
He was kept down with hard meat and ill lodging;
But I’ll kiss him up again.
75Enter Messenger.
76MessengerWhat do you here? you’ll lose the noblest sight
That e’er was seen.
77GaolerAre they i’ the field?
78MessengerThey are:
You bear a charge there too.
79GaolerI’ll away straight.—
I must even leave you here.
80DoctorNay, we’ll go with you;
I will not lose the sight.
81GaolerHow did you like her?
82DoctorI’ll warrant you, within these three or four days
I’ll make her right again.—You must not from her,
But still preserve her in this way.
83WooerI will.
84DoctorLet’s get her in.
85WooerCome, sweet, we’ll go to dinner;
And then we’ll play at cards.
86DaughterAnd shall we kiss too?
87WooerA hundred times.
88DaughterAnd twenty?
89WooerAy, and twenty.
90DaughterAnd then we’ll sleep together?
91DoctorTake her offer.
92WooerYes, marry, will we.
93DaughterBut you shall not hurt me.
94WooerI will not, sweet.
95DaughterIf you do, love, I’ll cry. Exeunt.