ARKCODEX
Act I, Scene 2
1The Same. A street.
2Enter Cressida and Alexander.
3CressidaWho were those went by?
4AlexanderQueen Hecuba and Helen.
5CressidaAnd whither go they?
6AlexanderUp to the eastern tower,
Whose height commands as subject all the vale,
To see the battle. Hector, whose patience
Is, as a virtue, fix’d, to-day was moved:
He chid Andromache and struck his armourer,
And, like as there were husbandry in war,
Before the sun rose he was harness’d light,
And to the field goes he; where every flower
Did, as a prophet, weep what it foresaw
In Hector’s wrath.
7CressidaWhat was his cause of anger?
8AlexanderThe noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks
A lord of Trojan blood, nephew to Hector;
They call him Ajax.
9CressidaGood; and what of him?
10AlexanderThey say he is a very man per se,
And stands alone.
11CressidaSo do all men, unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs.
12AlexanderThis man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of their particular additions; he is as valiant as the lion, churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant: a man into whom nature hath so crowded humours that his valour is crushed into folly, his folly sauced with discretion: there is no man hath a virtue that he hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he carries some stain of it: he is melancholy without cause, and merry against the hair: he hath the joints of every thing, but everything so out of joint that he is a gouty Briareus, many hands and no use, or purblind Argus, all eyes and no sight.
13CressidaBut how should this man, that makes me smile, make Hector angry?
14AlexanderThey say he yesterday coped Hector in the battle and struck him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath ever since kept Hector fasting and waking.
15CressidaWho comes here?
16AlexanderMadam, your uncle Pandarus.
17Enter Pandarus.
18CressidaHector’s a gallant man.
19AlexanderAs may be in the world, lady.
20PandarusWhat’s that? what’s that?
21CressidaGood morrow, uncle Pandarus.
22PandarusGood morrow, cousin Cressid: what do you talk of? Good morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When were you at Ilium?
23CressidaThis morning, uncle.
24PandarusWhat were you talking of when I came? Was Hector armed and gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not up, was she?
25CressidaHector was gone, but Helen was not up.
26PandarusEven so: Hector was stirring early.
27CressidaThat were we talking of, and of his anger.
28PandarusWas he angry?
29CressidaSo he says here.
30PandarusTrue, he was so: I know the cause too: he’ll lay about him to-day, I can tell them that: and there’s Troilus will not come far behind him; let them take heed of Troilus, I can tell them that too.
31CressidaWhat, is he angry too?
32PandarusWho, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two.
33CressidaO Jupiter! there’s no comparison.
34PandarusWhat, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a man if you see him?
35CressidaAy, if I ever saw him before and knew him.
36PandarusWell, I say Troilus is Troilus.
37CressidaThen you say as I say; for, I am sure, he is not Hector.
38PandarusNo, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees.
39Cressida’Tis just to each of them; he is himself.
40PandarusHimself! Alas, poor Troilus! I would he were.
41CressidaSo he is.
42PandarusCondition, I had gone barefoot to India.
43CressidaHe is not Hector.
44PandarusHimself! no, he’s not himself: would a’ were himself! Well, the gods are above; time must friend or end: well, Troilus, well: I would my heart were in her body. No, Hector is not a better man than Troilus.
45CressidaExcuse me.
46PandarusHe is elder.
47CressidaPardon me, pardon me.
48PandarusTh’ other’s not come to’t; you shall tell me another tale, when th’ other’s come to’t. Hector shall not have his wit this year.
49CressidaHe shall not need it, if he have his own.
50PandarusNor his qualities.
51CressidaNo matter.
52PandarusNor his beauty.
53Cressida’Twould not become him; his own’s better.
54PandarusYou have no judgment, niece: Helen herself swore th’ other day, that Troilus, for a brown favour—for so ’tis, I must confess—not brown neither—
55CressidaNo, but brown.
56Pandarus’Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown.
57CressidaTo say the truth, true and not true.
58PandarusShe praised his complexion above Paris.
59CressidaWhy, Paris hath colour enough.
60PandarusSo he has.
61CressidaThen Troilus should have too much: if she praised him above, his complexion is higher than his; he having colour enough, and the other higher, is too flaming a praise for a good complexion. I had as lief Helen’s golden tongue had commended Troilus for a copper nose.
62PandarusI swear to you. I think Helen loves him better than Paris.
63CressidaThen she’s a merry Greek indeed.
64PandarusNay, I am sure she does. She came to him th’ other day into the compassed window—and, you know, he has not past three or four hairs on his chin—
65CressidaIndeed, a tapster’s arithmetic may soon bring his particulars therein to a total.
66PandarusWhy, he is very young: and yet will he, within three pound, lift as much as his brother Hector.
67CressidaIs he so young a man and so old a lifter?
68PandarusBut to prove to you that Helen loves him: she came and puts me her white hand to his cloven chin—
69CressidaJuno have mercy! how came it cloven?
70PandarusWhy, you know ’tis dimpled: I think his smiling becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia.
71CressidaO, he smiles valiantly.
72PandarusDoes he not?
73CressidaO yes, an ’twere a cloud in autumn.
74PandarusWhy, go to, then: but to prove to you that Helen loves Troilus—
75CressidaTroilus will stand to the proof, if you’ll prove it so.
76PandarusTroilus! why, he esteems her no more than I esteem an addle egg.
77CressidaIf you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle head, you would eat chickens i’ the shell.
78PandarusI cannot choose but laugh, to think how she tickled his chin: indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I must needs confess—
79CressidaWithout the rack.
80PandarusAnd she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin.
81CressidaAlas, poor chin! many a wart is richer.
82PandarusBut there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laughed that her eyes ran o’er.
83CressidaWith mill-stones.
84PandarusAnd Cassandra laughed.
85CressidaBut there was more temperate fire under the pot of her eyes: did her eyes run o’er too?
86PandarusAnd Hector laughed.
87CressidaAt what was all this laughing?
88PandarusMarry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus’ chin.
89CressidaAn’t had been a green hair, I should have laughed too.
90PandarusThey laughed not so much at the hair as at his pretty answer.
91CressidaWhat was his answer?
92PandarusQuoth she, “Here’s but two and fifty hairs on your chin, and one of them is white.
93CressidaThis is her question.
94PandarusThat’s true; make no question of that. “Two and fifty hairs,” quoth he, “and one white: that white hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons.” “Jupiter!” quoth she, “which of these hairs is Paris my husband?” “The forked one,” quoth he, “pluck’t out, and give it him.” But there was such laughing! and Helen so blushed, an Paris so chafed, and all the rest so laughed, that it passed.
95CressidaSo let it now; for it has been while going by.
96PandarusWell, cousin. I told you a thing yesterday; think on’t.
97CressidaSo I do.
98PandarusI’ll be sworn ’tis true; he will weep you, an ’twere a man born in April.
99CressidaAnd I’ll spring up in his tears, an ’twere a nettle against May. A retreat sounded.
100PandarusHark! they are coming from the field: shall we stand up here, and see them as they pass toward Ilium? good niece, do, sweet niece Cressida.
101CressidaAt your pleasure.
102PandarusHere, here, here’s an excellent place; here we may see most bravely: I’ll tell you them all by their names as they pass by; but mark Troilus above the rest.
103CressidaSpeak not so loud.
104Aeneas passes.
105PandarusThat’s Aeneas: is not that a brave man? he’s one of the flowers of Troy, I can tell you: but mark Troilus; you shall see anon.
106Antenor passes.
107CressidaWho’s that?
108PandarusThat’s Antenor: he has a shrewd wit, I can tell you; and he’s a man good enough: he’s one o’ the soundest judgments in Troy, whosoever, and a proper man of person. When comes Troilus? I’ll show you Troilus anon: if he see me, you shall see him nod at me.
109CressidaWill he give you the nod?
110PandarusYou shall see.
111CressidaIf he do, the rich shall have more.
112Hector passes.
113PandarusThat’s Hector, that, that, look you, that; there’s a fellow! Go thy way, Hector! There’s a brave man, niece. O brave Hector! Look how he looks! there’s a countenance! is’t not a brave man?
114CressidaO, a brave man!
115PandarusIs a’ not? it does a man’s heart good. Look you what hacks are on his helmet! look you yonder, do you see? look you there: there’s no jesting; there’s laying on, take’t off who will, as they say: there be hacks!
116CressidaBe those with swords?
117PandarusSwords! any thing, he cares not; an the devil come to him, it’s all one: by God’s lid, it does one’s heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.
118Paris passes.
119Look ye yonder, niece; is’t not a gallant man too, is’t not? Why, this is brave now. Who said he came hurt home to-day? he’s not hurt: why, this will do Helen’s heart good now, ha! Would I could see Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon.
120Helenus passes.
121CressidaWho’s that?
122PandarusThat’s Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That’s Helenus. I think he went not forth to-day. That’s Helenus.
123CressidaCan Helenus fight, uncle?
124PandarusHelenus? no. Yes, he’ll fight indifferent well. I marvel where Troilus is. Hark! do you not hear the people cry “Troilus”? Helenus is a priest.
125CressidaWhat sneaking fellow comes yonder?
126Troilus passes.
127PandarusWhere? yonder? that’s Deiphobus. ’Tis Troilus! there’s a man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus! the prince of chivalry!
128CressidaPeace, for shame, peace!
129PandarusMark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon him, niece: look you how his sword is bloodied, and his helm more hacked than Hector’s, and how he looks, and how he goes! O admirable youth! he ne’er saw three and twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way! Had I a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess, he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris? Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to change, would give an eye to boot.
130CressidaHere come more.
131Forces pass.
132PandarusAsses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran! porridge after meat! I could live and die i’ the eyes of Troilus. Ne’er look, ne’er look; the eagles are gone: crows and daws, crows and daws! I had rather be such a man as Troilus than Agamemnon and all Greece.
133CressidaThere is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than Troilus.
134PandarusAchilles! a drayman, a porter, a very camel.
135CressidaWell, well.
136Pandarus“Well, well!” Why, have you any discretion? have you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality, and such like, the spice and salt that season a man?
137CressidaAy, a minced man: and then to be baked with no date in the pie, for then the man’s date’s out.
138PandarusYou are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you lie.
139CressidaUpon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine honesty; my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to defend all these: and at all these wards I lie, at a thousand watches.
140PandarusSay one of your watches.
141CressidaNay, I’ll watch you for that; and that’s one of the chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it’s past watching.
142PandarusYou are such another!
143Enter Troilus’s Boy.
144BoySir, my lord would instantly speak with you.
145PandarusWhere?
146BoyAt your own house; there he unarms him.
147PandarusGood boy, tell him I come. Exit Boy. I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece.
148CressidaAdieu, uncle.
149PandarusI’ll be with you, niece, by and by.
150CressidaTo bring, uncle?
151PandarusAy, a token from Troilus.
152CressidaBy the same token, you are a bawd. Exit Pandarus.
Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love’s full sacrifice,
He offers in another’s enterprise:
But more in Troilus thousand fold I see
Than in the glass of Pandar’s praise may be;
Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:
Things won are done; joy’s soul lies in the doing.
That she beloved knows nought that knows not this:
Men prize the thing ungain’d more than it is:
That she was never yet that ever knew
Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
Achievement is command; ungain’d, beseech:
Then though my heart’s content firm love doth bear,
Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear. Exeunt.