ARKCODEX
Act III, Scene 1
1Olivia’sgarden.
2Enter Viola, and Clown with a tabor.
3ViolaSave thee, friend, and thy music: dost thou live by thy tabor?
4ClownNo, sir, I live by the church.
5ViolaArt thou a churchman?
6ClownNo such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.
7ViolaSo thou mayst say, the king lies by a beggar, if a beggar dwell near him; or, the church stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor stand by the church.
8ClownYou have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is but a cheveril glove to a good wit: how quickly the wrong side may be turned outward!
9ViolaNay, that’s certain; they that dally nicely with words may quickly make them wanton.
10ClownI would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir.
11ViolaWhy, man?
12ClownWhy, sir, her name’s a word; and to dally with that word might make my sister wanton. But indeed words are very rascals since bonds disgraced them.
13ViolaThy reason, man?
14ClownTroth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and words are grown so false, I am loath to prove reason with them.
15ViolaI warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for nothing.
16ClownNot so, sir, I do care for something; but in my conscience, sir, I do not care for you: if that be to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.
17ViolaArt not thou the Lady Olivia’s fool?
18ClownNo, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to herrings; the husband’s the bigger: I am indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of words.
19ViolaI saw thee late at the Count Orsino’s.
20ClownFoolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun, it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master as with my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there.
21ViolaNay, an thou pass upon me, I’ll no more with thee. Hold, there’s expenses for thee.
22ClownNow Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!
23ViolaBy my troth, I’ll tell thee, I am almost sick for one; aside though I would not have it grow on my chin. Is thy lady within?
24ClownWould not a pair of these have bred, sir?
25ViolaYes, being kept together and put to use.
26ClownI would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus.
27ViolaI understand you, sir; ’tis well begged.
28ClownThe matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a beggar: Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I will construe to them whence you come; who you are and what you would are out of my welkin, I might say “element,” but the word is over-worn. Exit.
29ViolaThis fellow is wise enough to play the fool;
And to do that well craves a kind of wit:
He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
The quality of persons, and the time,
And, like the haggard, check at every feather
That comes before his eye. This is a practice
As full of labour as a wise man’s art:
For folly that he wisely shows is fit;
But wise men, folly-fall’n, quite taint their wit.
30Enter Sir Toby, and Sir Andrew.
31Sir TobySave you, gentleman.
32ViolaAnd you, sir.
33Sir AndrewDieu vous garde, monsieur.
34ViolaEt vous aussi; votre serviteur.
35Sir AndrewI hope, sir, you are; and I am yours.
36Sir TobyWill you encounter the house? my niece is desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her.
37ViolaI am bound to your niece, sir; I mean, she is the list of my voyage.
38Sir TobyTaste your legs, sir; put them to motion.
39ViolaMy legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.
40Sir TobyI mean, to go, sir, to enter.
41ViolaI will answer you with gait and entrance. But we are prevented.
42Enter Olivia and Maria.
43Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain odours on you!
44Sir AndrewThat youth’s a rare courtier: “Rain odours;” well.
45ViolaMy matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant and vouchsafed ear.
46Sir Andrew“Odours,” “pregnant” and “vouchsafed:” I’ll get ’em all three all ready.
47OliviaLet the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing. Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Maria. Give me your hand, sir.
48ViolaMy duty, madam, and most humble service.
49OliviaWhat is your name?
50ViolaCesario is your servant’s name, fair princess.
51OliviaMy servant, sir! ’Twas never merry world
Since lowly feigning was call’d compliment:
You’re servant to the Count Orsino, youth.
52ViolaAnd he is yours, and his must needs be yours:
Your servant’s servant is your servant, madam.
53OliviaFor him, I think not on him: for his thoughts,
Would they were blanks, rather than fill’d with me!
54ViolaMadam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
On his behalf.
55OliviaO, by your leave, I pray you,
I bade you never speak again of him:
But, would you undertake another suit,
I had rather hear you to solicit that
Than music from the spheres.
56ViolaDear lady—
57OliviaGive me leave, beseech you. I did send,
After the last enchantment you did here,
A ring in chase of you: so did I abuse
Myself, my servant and, I fear me, you:
Under your hard construction must I sit,
To force that on you, in a shameful cunning,
Which you knew none of yours: what might you think?
Have you not set mine honour at the stake
And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts
That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving
Enough is shown: a cypress, not a bosom,
Hideth my heart. So, let me hear you speak.
58ViolaI pity you.
59OliviaThat’s a degree to love.
60ViolaNo, not a grize; for ’tis a vulgar proof,
That very oft we pity enemies.
61OliviaWhy, then, methinks ’tis time to smile again.
O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
If one should be a prey, how much the better
To fall before the lion than the wolf! Clock strikes.
The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.
Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you:
And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest,
Your were is alike to reap a proper man:
There lies your way, due west.
62ViolaThen westward-ho! Grace and good disposition
Attend your ladyship!
You’ll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
63OliviaStay:
I prithee, tell me what thou thinkest of me.
64ViolaThat you do think you are not what you are.
65OliviaIf I think so, I think the same of you.
66ViolaThen think you right: I am not what I am.
67OliviaI would you were as I would have you be!
68ViolaWould it be better, madam, than I am?
I wish it might, for now I am your fool.
69OliviaO, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
In the contempt and anger of his lip!
A murderous guilt shows not itself more soon
Than love that would seem hid: love’s night is noon.
Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
By maidhood, honour, truth and every thing,
I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,
Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.
Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause;
But rather reason thus with reason fetter,
Love sought is good, but given unsought better.
70ViolaBy innocence I swear, and by my youth,
I have one heart, one bosom and one truth,
And that no woman has; nor never none
Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
And so adieu, good madam: never more
Will I my master’s tears to you deplore.
71OliviaYet come again; for thou perhaps mayst move
That heart, which now abhors, to like his love. Exeunt.