ARKCODEX
Act III, Scene 2
1A room in Leonato’s house.
2Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, and Leonato.
3Don PedroI do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon.
4ClaudioI’ll bring you thither, my lord, if you’ll vouchsafe me.
5Don PedroNay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid’s bowstring, and the little hangman dare not shoot at him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks.
6BenedickGallants, I am not as I have been.
7LeonatoSo say I: methinks you are sadder.
8ClaudioI hope he be in love.
9Don PedroHang him, truant! there’s no true drop of blood in him, to be truly touched with love: if he be sad, he wants money.
10BenedickI have the toothache.
11Don PedroDraw it.
12BenedickHang it!
13ClaudioYou must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.
14Don PedroWhat! sigh for the toothache?
15LeonatoWhere is but a humour or a worm.
16BenedickWell, everyone can master a grief but he that has it.
17ClaudioYet say I, he is in love.
18Don PedroThere is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman tomorrow, or in the shape of two countries at once, as a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.
19ClaudioIf he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: a’ brushes his hat o’ mornings; what should that bode?
20Don PedroHath any man seen him at the barber’s?
21ClaudioNo, but the barber’s man hath been seen with him, and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis balls.
22LeonatoIndeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.
23Don PedroNay, a’ rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that?
24ClaudioThat’s as much as to say, the sweet youth’s in love.
25Don PedroThe greatest note of it is his melancholy.
26ClaudioAnd when was he wont to wash his face?
27Don PedroYea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him.
28ClaudioNay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string and now governed by stops.
29Don PedroIndeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude, conclude he is in love.
30ClaudioNay, but I know who loves him.
31Don PedroThat would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.
32ClaudioYes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of all, dies for him.
33Don PedroShe shall be buried with her face upwards.
34BenedickYet is this no charm for the toothache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear. Exeunt Benedick and Leonato.
35Don PedroFor my life, to break with him about Beatrice.
36Claudio’Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice; and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet.
37Enter Don John.
38Don JohnMy lord and brother, God save you!
39Don PedroGood den, brother.
40Don JohnIf your leisure served, I would speak with you.
41Don PedroIn private?
42Don JohnIf it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for what I would speak of concerns him.
43Don PedroWhat’s the matter?
44Don JohnTo Claudio. Means your lordship to be married tomorrow?
45Don PedroYou know he does.
46Don JohnI know not that, when he knows what I know.
47ClaudioIf there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.
48Don JohnYou may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage;—surely suit ill spent and labour ill bestowed.
49Don PedroWhy, what’s the matter?
50Don JohnI came hither to tell you; and, circumstances shortened, for she has been too long a talking of, the lady is disloyal.
51ClaudioWho, Hero?
52Don JohnEven she; Leonato’s Hero, your Hero, every man’s Hero.
53ClaudioDisloyal?
54Don JohnThe word’s too good to paint out her wickedness; I could say she were worse: think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till further warrant: go but with me tonight, you shall see her chamber-window entered, even the night before her wedding-day: if you love her then, tomorrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour to change your mind.
55ClaudioMay this be so?
56Don PedroI will not think it.
57Don JohnIf you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you know: if you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly.
58ClaudioIf I see anything tonight why I should not marry her tomorrow, in the congregation, where I should wed, there will I shame her.
59Don PedroAnd, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her.
60Don JohnI will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself.
61Don PedroO day untowardly turned!
62ClaudioO mischief strangely thwarting!
63Don JohnO plague right well prevented! so will you say when you have seen the sequel. Exeunt.