ARKCODEX
Act IV, Scene 4
1A street.
2Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and the Officer.
3Antipholus of EphesusFear me not, man; I will not break away:
I’ll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
To warrant thee, as I am ’rested for.
My wife is in a wayward mood today,
And will not lightly trust the messenger.
That I should be attach’d in Ephesus,
I tell you ’twill sound harshly in her ears.
4Enter Dromio of Ephesus with a rope’s-end.
5Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?
6Dromio of EphesusHere’s that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
7Antipholus of EphesusBut where’s the money?
8Dromio of EphesusWhy, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
9Antipholus of EphesusFive hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?
10Dromio of EphesusI’ll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
11Antipholus of EphesusTo what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
12Dromio of EphesusTo a rope’s-end, sir; and to that end am I returned.
13Antipholus of EphesusAnd to that end, sir, I will welcome you. Beating him.
14OfficerGood sir, be patient.
15Dromio of EphesusNay, ’tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
16OfficerGood now, hold thy tongue.
17Dromio of EphesusNay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
18Antipholus of EphesusThou whoreson, senseless villain!
19Dromio of EphesusI would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows.
20Antipholus of EphesusThou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.
21Dromio of EphesusI am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me with beating: I am waked with it when I sleep; raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when I return: nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.
22Antipholus of EphesusCome, go along; my wife is coming yonder.
23Enter Adriana, Luciana, the Courtesan, and Pinch.
24Dromio of EphesusMistress, “respice finem,” respect your end; or rather, the prophecy like the parrot, “beware the rope’s-end.”
25Antipholus of EphesusWilt thou still talk? Beating him.
26CourtesanHow say you now? is not your husband mad?
27AdrianaHis incivility confirms no less.
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
Establish him in his true sense again,
And I will please you what you will demand.
28LucianaAlas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
29CourtesanMark how he trembles in his ecstasy!
30PinchGive me your hand and let me feel your pulse.
31Antipholus of EphesusThere is my hand, and let it feel your ear.Striking him.
32PinchI charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
To yield possession to my holy prayers
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!
33Antipholus of EphesusPeace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.
34AdrianaO, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!
35Antipholus of EphesusYou minion, you, are these your customers?
Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house today,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
And I denied to enter in my house?
36AdrianaO husband, God doth know you dined at home;
Where would you had remain’d until this time,
Free from these slanders and this open shame!
37Antipholus of EphesusDined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?
38Dromio of EphesusSir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
39Antipholus of EphesusWere not my doors lock’d up and I shut out?
40Dromio of EphesusPerdie, your doors were lock’d and you shut out.
41Antipholus of EphesusAnd did not she herself revile me there?
42Dromio of EphesusSans fable, she herself reviled you there.
43Antipholus of EphesusDid not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt and scorn me?
44Dromio of EphesusCertes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn’d you.
45Antipholus of EphesusAnd did not I in rage depart from thence?
46Dromio of EphesusIn verity you did; my bones bear witness,
That since have felt the vigour of his rage.
47AdrianaIs’t good to soothe him in these contraries?
48PinchIt is no shame: the fellow finds his vein
And yielding to him humours well his frenzy.
49Antipholus of EphesusThou hast suborn’d the goldsmith to arrest me.
50AdrianaAlas, I sent you money to redeem you,
By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
51Dromio of EphesusMoney by me! heart and good-will you might;
But surely, master, not a rag of money.
52Antipholus of EphesusWent’st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?
53AdrianaHe came to me and I deliver’d it.
54LucianaAnd I am witness with her that she did.
55Dromio of EphesusGod and the rope-maker bear me witness
That I was sent for nothing but a rope!
56PinchMistress, both man and master is possess’d;
I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
They must be bound and laid in some dark room.
57Antipholus of EphesusSay, wherefore didst thou lock me forth today?
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?
58AdrianaI did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
59Dromio of EphesusAnd, gentle master, I received no gold;
But I confess, sir, that we were lock’d out.
60AdrianaDissembling villain, thou speak’st false in both.
61Antipholus of EphesusDissembling harlot, thou art false in all
And art confederate with a damned pack
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
But with these nails I’ll pluck out these false eyes
That would behold in me this shameful sport.
62Enter three or four, and offer to bind him. He strives.
63AdrianaO, bind him, bind him! let him not come near me.
64PinchMore company! The fiend is strong within him.
65LucianaAy me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!
66Antipholus of EphesusWhat, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,
I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them
To make a rescue?
67OfficerMasters, let him go:
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
68PinchGo bind this man, for he is frantic too. They offer to bind Dromio of Ephesus.
69AdrianaWhat wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
70OfficerHe is my prisoner: if I let him go,
The debt he owes will be required of me.
71AdrianaI will discharge thee ere I go from thee:
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor
And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
Good master doctor, see him safe convey’d
Home to my house. O most unhappy day!
72Antipholus of EphesusO most unhappy strumpet!
73Dromio of EphesusMaster, I am here entered in bond for you.
74Antipholus of EphesusOut on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?
75Dromio of EphesusWill you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master: cry, “The devil!”
76LucianaGod help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!
77AdrianaGo bear him hence. Sister, go you with me. Exeunt all but Adriana, Luciana, Officer, and Courtesan.
Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?
78OfficerOne Angelo, a goldsmith: do you know him?
79AdrianaI know the man. What is the sum he owes?
80OfficerTwo hundred ducats.
81AdrianaSay, how grows it due?
82OfficerDue for a chain your husband had of him.
83AdrianaHe did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.
84CourtesanWhen as your husband all in rage today
Came to my house and took away my ring—
The ring I saw upon his finger now—
Straight after did I meet him with a chain.
85AdrianaIt may be so, but I did never see it.
Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is:
I long to know the truth hereof at large.
86Enter Antipholus of Syracuse with his rapier drawn, and Dromio of Syracuse.
87LucianaGod! for thy mercy! they are loose again.
88AdrianaAnd come with naked swords.
Let’s call more help to have them bound again.
89OfficerAway! they’ll kill us. Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse.
90Antipholus of SyracuseI see these witches are afraid of swords.
91Dromio of SyracuseShe that would be your wife now ran from you.
92Antipholus of SyracuseCome to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
I long that we were safe and sound aboard.
93Dromio of SyracuseFaith, stay here this night; they will surely do us no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold: methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and turn witch.
94Antipholus of SyracuseI will not stay tonight for all the town;
Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard. Exeunt.