ARKCODEX
Act IV, Scene 1
1A street before the house of Mistress Page.
2Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Quickly, and William.
3Mistress PageIs he at Master Ford’s already, think’st thou?
4Mistress QuicklySure he is by this; or will be presently; but truly he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.
5Mistress PageI’ll be with her by and by; I’ll but bring my young man here to school. Look where his master comes; ’tis a playing day, I see.
6Enter Sir Hugh Evans.
7How now, Sir Hugh, no school today?
8Sir Hugh EvansNo; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.
9Mistress QuicklyBlessing of his heart!
10Mistress PageSir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you ask him some questions in his accidence.
11Sir Hugh EvansCome hither, William; hold up your head; come.
12Mistress PageCome on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master; be not afraid.
13Sir Hugh EvansWilliam, how many numbers is in nouns?
14WilliamTwo
15Mistress QuicklyTruly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say “Od’s nouns.”
16Sir Hugh EvansPeace your tattlings! What is “fair,” William?
17WilliamPulcher.
18Mistress QuicklyPolecats! There are fairer things than polecats, sure.
19Sir Hugh EvansYou are a very simplicity ’oman; I pray you, peace. What is “lapis,” William?
20WilliamA stone.
21Sir Hugh EvansAnd what is “a stone,” William?
22WilliamA pebble.
23Sir Hugh EvansNo, it is “lapis”; I pray you remember in your prain.
24WilliamLapis.
25Sir Hugh EvansThat is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?
26WilliamArticles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined: Singulariter, nominativo; hic, haec, hoc.
27Sir Hugh EvansNominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?
28WilliamAccusativo, hinc.
29Sir Hugh EvansI pray you, have your remembrance, child. Accusativo, hung, hang, hog.
30Mistress Quickly“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
31Sir Hugh EvansLeave your prabbles, ’oman. What is the focative case, William?
32WilliamScratches his head. O vocativo, O.
33Sir Hugh EvansRemember, William: focative is caret.
34Mistress QuicklyAnd that’s a good root.
35Sir Hugh Evans’Oman, forbear.
36Mistress PagePeace.
37Sir Hugh EvansWhat is your genitive case plural, William?
38WilliamGenitive case?
39Sir Hugh EvansAy.
40WilliamGenitive: horum, harum, horum.
41Mistress QuicklyVengeance of Jenny’s case; fie on her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore.
42Sir Hugh EvansFor shame, ’oman.
43Mistress QuicklyYou do ill to teach the child such words. He teaches him to hick and to hack, which they’ll do fast enough of themselves; and to call “horum;” fie upon you!
44Sir Hugh Evans’Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.
45Mistress PageTo Mistress Quickly. Prithee, hold thy peace.
46Sir Hugh EvansShow me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.
47WilliamForsooth, I have forgot.
48Sir Hugh EvansIt is qui, quae, quod; if you forget your “quis,” your “quaes,” and your “quods,” you must be preeches. Go your ways and play; go.
49Mistress PageHe is a better scholar than I thought he was.
50Sir Hugh EvansHe is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.
51Mistress PageAdieu, good Sir Hugh.
52Exit Sir Hugh Evans.
53Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.
54Exeunt.