ARKCODEX
Act IV, Scene 1
1Before Olivia’s house.
2Enter Sebastian and Clown.
3ClownWill you make me believe that I am not sent for you?
4SebastianGo to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow:
Let me be clear of thee.
5ClownWell held out, i’ faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so is so.
6SebastianI prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else:
Thou know’st not me.
7ClownVent my folly! he has heard that word of some great man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness and tell me what I shall vent to my lady: shall I vent to her that thou art coming?
8SebastianI prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me:
There’s money for thee: if you tarry longer,
I shall give worse payment.
9ClownBy my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report—after fourteen years’ purchase.
10Enter Sir Andrew, Sir Toby, and Fabian.
11Sir AndrewNow, sir, have I met you again? there’s for you.
12SebastianWhy, there’s for thee, and there, and there.
Are all the people mad?
13Sir TobyHold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the house.
14ClownThis will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two pence. Exit.
15Sir TobyCome on, sir; hold.
16Sir AndrewNay, let him alone: I’ll go another way to work with him; I’ll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that.
17SebastianLet go thy hand.
18Sir TobyCome, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on.
19SebastianI will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now?
If thou darest tempt me further, draw thy sword.
20Sir TobyWhat, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.
21Enter Olivia.
22OliviaHold, Toby; on thy life I charge thee, hold!
23Sir TobyMadam!
24OliviaWill it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,
Where manners ne’er were preach’d! out of my sight!
Be not offended, dear Cesario.
Rudesby, be gone! Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian. I prithee, gentle friend,
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
In this uncivil and thou unjust extent
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian hath botch’d up, that thou thereby
Mayst smile at this: thou shalt not choose but go:
Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me,
He started one poor heart of mine in thee.
25SebastianWhat relish is in this? how runs the stream?
Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!
26OliviaNay, come, I prithee; would thou’ldst be ruled by me!
27SebastianMadam, I will.
28OliviaO, say so, and so be! Exeunt.