ARKCODEX
Act III, Scene 2
1A street in Windsor.
2Enter Mistress Page and Robin; he pauses.
3Mistress PageNay, keep your way, little gallant: you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master’s heels?
4RobinI had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than follow him like a dwarf.
5Mistress PageO! you are a flattering boy: now I see you’ll be a courtier.
6Enter Ford.
7FordWell met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
8Mistress PageTruly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?
9FordAy; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.
10Mistress PageBe sure of that—two other husbands.
11FordWhere had you this pretty weathercock?
12Mistress PageI cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. What do you call your knight’s name, sirrah?
13RobinSir John Falstaff.
14FordSir John Falstaff!
15Mistress PageHe, he; I can never hit on’s name. There is such a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at home indeed?
16FordIndeed she is.
17Mistress PageCurtsies. By your leave, sir: I am sick till I see her.
18Exeunt Mistress Page and Robin.
19FordHas Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He pieces out his wife’s inclination; he gives her folly motion and advantage; and now she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind: and Falstaff’s boy with her! Good plots! They are laid; and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. Clock strikes. The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search; there I shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is there. I will go.
20Enter Page, Justice Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Doctor Caius, and Rugby.
21Shallow, Page, etc.Well met, Master Ford.
22FordTrust me, a good knot; I have good cheer at home, and I pray you all go with me.
23Justice ShallowI must excuse myself, Master Ford.
24SlenderAnd so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I’ll speak of.
25Justice ShallowWe have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.
26SlenderI hope I have your good will, father Page.
27PageYou have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you. But my wife, Master doctor, is for you altogether.
28Doctor CaiusAy, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me: my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
29HostWhat say you to young Master Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May; he will carry’t, he will carry’t; ’tis in his buttons; he will carry’t.
30PageNot by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and Pointz; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance; if he take her, let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.
31FordI beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster. Master Doctor, you shall go; so shall you, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.
32Justice ShallowWell, fare you well; we shall have the freer wooing at Master Page’s.
33Exeunt Justice Shallow and Slender.
34Doctor CaiusGo home, John Rugby; I come anon.
35Exit Rugby.
36HostFarewell, my hearts; I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him.
37Exit Host.
38FordAside. I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him. I’ll make him dance.
39Aloud. Will you go, gentles?
40AllHave with you to see this monster.
41Exeunt.